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remember the days of sleepless summer nights

I have been home one month and seventeen days.

Which also means I haven't been in Hawaii for one month and eighteen days. I'm mostly okay with it. Mostly. But there are a few things I miss.


Things like going to Turtle Bay to go hot-tubbing and never getting kicked out, not once. Seeing the black ocean in the hotel lights, running barefoot and partially dressed through the condos, running all the way around the hotel and through a wedding out back.

I miss the Asians. There were SO MANY there. And I only know two here.
I miss the asian celebrations in The Caf. I don't miss the Caf food, though.

I miss my roommate very much. How she never slept in her bed, would never wake up to her alarm but always wake up to mine. Having dance parties in our three feet of space to music we both discovered. Her lovely work dress. The way she put up with my side of the room being impossible to walk through, either because it was a mess or because I was perpetually rearranging my furniture.
Yeah, she was a good roommate.


I miss Foodland.
I miss riding my bike over in the sweltering sun, going into the store barefoot and always smelling the green lotion that I never bought. Going there every night with Alyssa, sometimes running to get there before it closed at midnight, typing in my number to get maika'i points. Seeing everyone there--friends, teachers, church people, that place was the spot. Especially the umbrella tables where everyone had Angel's, Subway, Taco Bell or Pizza Hut because those were the only choices.

I miss my job. I miss the foxwood forest and the office and the stinky freezer and the stirrer stick and going into all the forbidden places because no one questioned our authority. I miss the weird men that would ask if we sold plants and the gate that never locked and driving the truck around the neighborhood, taking it to get smoothies and driving past our boss at one of his Tongan parties. I miss going to HRI and talking to Richard and having the other people treat us like dirt and the rude lady with white flies and that one time I accidentally dumped water on her computer and her phone. Oops. And Richard giving us gift certificates and taking us to Turtle Bay for dinner and having Haupia Pies for us. I miss those Haupia pies.
I miss the 'challenging' parts of work. Like scaling a palm tree to take down this dead leaf. Which isn't technically part of our job, but I wanted to take it down and, again, no one questioned our authority.

I miss all the maintenance workers that Alyssa knew and introduced me to. The ones that were probably married with kids but didn't act like it. The one who still lived with his mom and always wanted jackfruit but never ate it.

Sometimes we weren't very good at our job.

But that's because Mele taught us to sleep on the job.
These boys were a great part of the job. Even though they hated me.


I miss the dance studio where I started out being an uncoordinated fool and ended up being a dancer. I miss the long days of rehearsal and how it helped relieve me of all the stresses and worries that were weighing me down. I miss final exam-recitals and how Alyssa brought me flowers.
(She didn't actually bring me these. We found them in the hallway and pretended they were ours.)

Okay so I don't actually miss the no men allowed signs or the alarms set/ side doors locked at ten. I don't miss having to walk all the way around the building just to take our my garbage or get my laundry (provided they hadn't closed the laundry doors because it was eleven), but they certainly are memories of the place.


THE BEACH. Don't tell me I'm in Florida, so it's the same. Because IT IS NOT. I miss the ocean breeze, going there to watch the Sunrise. The waves, the coral, the point, the cliff over pounders, finding crabs on the sand, the cliff jumping, having salty, tangled hair, going to the beach at night when the moon's out, being tan, I miss it.


The culture. The loving, caring people. The PCC. The million different languages. The weird, weird foods.

Being awake ALL NIGHT doing stupid things.
[I shouldn't put this up here...I KNOW my mom is going to use it as blackmail.]

Falling off/hiding under my bed, laughing, crying, feeling on top of the world and feeling extremely opposite. Being confused, being happy and sad at the same time. Ripping up pictures and replacing hurtful memories with better ones. Healing.


I miss this beautiful lady who was there through it all. Who saw the worst and hoped for the best, for herself and for me. Who cried and listened to me cry. Who made things fun by being boring. The complete opposite of me yet exactly the same. I am jealous of the people of Carlsbad, California who get her for the next eighteen months.

And of course, I miss the simple beauty of Hawaii. Walking to campus at sunset, seeing the mist on the mountains, the green, the trees, feeling the breeze, seeing little brown children running around half dressed and seeing polynesians playing rugby. Hawaii is magic.




[Title from I Owe You a Love Song by Shiny Toy Guns]

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