i'm getting dizzy, just enjoy the party

well the countdown is on, and i can feel it. it's like my subconcious can feel it even if my brain doesn't believe it. things feel different. excitement, change, adventure, just around the corner.

yesterday i got to be the cool kid. yesterday was good. i baked. allll day. i hulled strawberries and coaxed dough into rising and spilled flour and over whipped some whipping cream. it took a lot of trips to the store.

the recipe was easy--take a couple cups of calories and dump them into a plate and throw some healthy strawberries on top to trick everyone into eating it.

it worked.

i took a break in the middle to take pick jace and his friends up from school and take them to quiznos and throw some money around, making me the cool big sister, which is what i always aim to be.

i even let aria sit shotgun and eat leftover chocolate from a bowl.
[notice the chocolate on her forehead....?]

i made bruschetta and pasta and four sauces and breadsticks and a lovely strawberry pie. i was so proud.

and dinner was an event of its own. me being tongue tied, not knowing what to say to smooth over the awkward comments, to lead the conversation to the right place. praying. changing my prayers.

remembering a word that i'll never forget again:

my night ended with a ditched pool party, pushing my greasy bangs out of my face, spilling water on myself, borrowing shoes, and "poly wanna cracker? cracker wanna poly?"

it was good. i wanted to bottle it up and save it. forever. i felt a peaceful contentedness, like the way I can curl up in a passenger seat having a full belly leaving the resturaunt knowing i've taken in more than mozerella sticks. the kind of warmness that gives me the chills. a kind of contentment that i'd be happy to have in my life everyday of forever. that will let me sleep with a smile on my face.

[Title from Hello by Martin Solveig ft Dragonette]

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