happiness hit like a train

The weekend is over. Another day, another house. Here is where I get to park my houndstooth suitcase for the next few days.
It's one of those houses where everything is together. There are tissues in the bathrooms, nightstands next to beds, and lamps for reading. It's one of those rooms made up so perfectly, where everything’s just right. Something out of a catalog, made just for me. A big comfortable bed, which must be the universe apologizing for those nights on the floor. Wanting to touch the smooth wood and also not wanting to touch one thing. The plush, cream colored carpet that is perfect for kicking off my shoes and putting on my pajamas. I will not have trouble keeping this room clean.
Sun gods and ceramic fish and tiki warriors keeping me company. Windows that were made for south florida. The ticking clock and the hum of my computer.

Subtle reminders of what lies ahead.

With a big bathroom with my favorite shampoo and conditioner, with pictures of a starfish, an octopus, and a sea turtle, where the hand towels are neatly folded and the bathroom rug is comfortable enough to sleep on. [however, I will not be sleeping there.]

One glass door away from this—mine to enjoy endlessly, an excuse to be in the sun and to be outdoors.
They next three days are going to be the easiest days I will ever have in my life. No work. No school. No kitchen to cook in. no house to clean. Just books to read, people to say goodbye to, good food to eat, and sun to soak in.
I’m not sure I know what to do with all my freedom.

Evidently my subconscious certainly knows what to do with it. It takes my hidden fears, my suppressed uncertainties and turns them into vivid, twisted nightmares. It is no fun.

But the darkness helps me recognize and appreciate light. Light is the answer. Always light. Light comes in so many forms, music and books and prayers and good, good people.

And, of course, sunshine.
[These things are genius. Getting tan + being in the water = not being hot. Why haven't I discovered these before?!]

And then some lady bugs wanted to be my friends. Landing on my hair and my pruning fingers and my sun soaked knees.

Meanwhile I'm being completely spoiled rotten--lounging in the sun and being brought ice water without asking for it. Being given sorbet served in pineapples and coconuts. I feel like I'm staying at a hotel in paradise. Except it's better than that because these people love me and my family.
Quite a bit, actually.
It's really quite nice to have this house to myself. To have quiet, rest and relaxation, privacy. To be able to lounge around, reading and writing and doing whatever I want to do. I am really enjoying every minute of it, especially knowing that tomorrow I will be crammed in a little car driving across the continent.

Dinner last night was exceptional. Probably the best meal I've had in a while. Compliments of Pollo Tropical and a wonderful family who loves us, lets us use their nail polish, and waters their plants with ice cubes. Another family on the list of people I will miss.

And it is almost time for the festivities, Wednesday at noon. Then will come new adventures. More things to be afraid of and more things to be excited about. I can’t wait for the relief that will come in Texas, for the excitement of a day in late July [hopefully], for the rest of my life.

[Title from Dog Days Are Over by Florence and The Machine]

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