always one day behind

Remember how I hate doing things out of order? No? Well I hate doing things out of order. Like writing blog entries not in chronological progression. It really bothers me. It does, however, bother me less than not writing would. Because my head is about to explode with all the things that I’m trying so hard to remember.

I’m a little hesitant to post this one because I think it might make some people feel hurt or left out. But I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for the things people constantly do for me and for my family that I need to acknowledge it. This past week especially has held such an outpouring of love and concern and I really just want to document some of it.

There are so many little things that occurred in the accident, so many inconsequential repercussions that I’d never think about as an outsider. Things like losing my running shoes—not a huge deal, but still inconvenient for me. A bit of extra disappointment, knowing that I bought them in Germany and quite frankly have no money to buy new ones. Not a weighty issue, on the scale of things, but still a little sucky. Right up there on the scale of things that-don’t-matter-in-the-long-run are my teeth. They’re not in terrible condition, nothing is really wrong, except that my retainer didn’t fit anymore because my teeth loosened and rearranged themselves, little buggers. Again, not really a big deal to anyone and not worth any effort to fix. Yet one person didn’t feel that way. Someone was concerned enough about my situation and was willing to do anything they could to make it suck a little less, and this was something he could help with. So he willingly, happily, made me a new retainer.


See how my teeth are a tiny bit shinier? That’s my new retainer, folks. And every time I put it in (after I wince with pain for dramatic effect) I’m thankful that someone would do that for me. Because it means the world to me.


If you’re in Utah County and looking for a stellar orthodontist, he’s your man!

He even threw in a sparkly red case, some free pens, and an opportunity to ride on a float in a parade. He was pretty much my fairy godmother, in human form. (Except that he’s a man, and not fairy like at all. Just thought I’d clarify.)

Meanwhile his lovely wife was working to get all the past Florida residents together for dinner. She delivered. It was wonderful (and delicious) and she rounded up a quality group of people.


I have to tell you something really, really cool. Every single person in this picture (except for the infant) said something about my blog. Something nice. I received sincere compliments about so many different aspects of it—the photography, the writing, the intent behind it—it was ridiculous. What really got to me was that they all had specific questions related to my Canada post. Which was unreal, considering I’d posted it less than 24 hours before. And they’d already read it. I was flattered. And humbled. And a tiny bit uncomfortable with all the praise. But let me tell you something. If you’re ever thinking about feeling sad because your sister’s funeral is coming up, get together a big group of people that love you and eat dinner with them. It’ll change your mood real quick.

I feel like there have been a lot of things shielding my fragile emotions this week. Like the bumpers they put up for pathetic bowlers (like me), acts of kindness have been there to keep the bowling ball of despair just bouncing around, never taking me out.

Little things, like manicures and pedicures, compliments of the lovely lady who’s already done way too much for me.


Followed by dinner at Cafe Rio, making the whole event five times better. I didn’t understand the Cafe Rio hype before, but I can respect it now.



My affinity for getting mail was acknowledged in the form of a package from BYU-Hawaii full of cards and paper cranes. They were sometimes craftily, sometimes sloppily constructed. Many of them were written in broken English by people wanting to convey their love and concern but not knowing all the right words. There were many sincere, heartfelt messages from good friends, mere acquaintances, and several from people I have never met.


Of course, many of them were falsely signed by my good friend who hijacked other people’s creations, throwing his name and phrases onto random corners of otherwise beautiful crafts.


They were entertaining, if nothing else.


I was comforted this week. Even prior to the funeral, people were looking out for me—making sure I was loved, cared for, and prepared in every way possible for the funeral.


Some people are really thoughtful and they give me little funeral preparedness kits—anything that might make it physically easier to get through the day.

Wednesday night was a good night. I felt peaceful. I felt strong. I felt ready.


Thank you to everyone who sacrificed their time to eat pizza that night. Thank you for the kind words, for the concern, for infusing laughter and good memories into conversation. For every sincere compliment and question and comment. For being genuinely concerned. For making me feel at home again.


(You thought I was going to put your face on my blog? Nope, just your license plate :)

Lots more good stuff to come. Stay tuned.

[Title from Bloodshot by Jack’s Mannequin]


  1. Bridian,
    You've obviously touched a lot of lives with your writing. It's a talent and don't let it go. Thought about you a lot this week. I hope you felt a little closure and peace somewhere in the middle of it all. Tricia's so thoughtful. Glad she and James could be there for you.

    Oh and about the running shoes...if you like Nike shoes, I can hook you up. A lot of people don't like them but if you would like a pair email me ( and we can get you some mailed off. Love you!
    Christy Denney

  2. So just thought you should, I have an addiction: I can't stop reading your blog, I know you've probably heard that from everyone, but its true.
    Just thought I should share.
    Love you so much!!

  3. Brid,
    I was sooo Excited to see you at brick oven! You looked lovely! I am obssed with your blog, but, you know that! I love you so much and Im so proud of you and your faith and courage. You truly do shine <3

    Love you and see you soon,

  4. Brid you are pretty much amazing! Thanks for sharing all of your experiences and your talent for writing. I LOVE reading your blog! Isn't it amazing the simple tender mercies we are blessed by everyday!? AHH I love it! Hope to see you soon!

    ps still waiting for our picture to show up on the blog ;)

  5. aawww! i love our school! <3 when are you headed back?!

  6. That funeral kit just goes to show how many people love you, Bridian. Never forget that. :)