ecstasy becomes cavalier

Well here I am in Florida, doing things that involve people I love and sunshine. Seeing familiar faces and driving down roads that I used to frequent. Hearing endless stories about Jada, about how wonderful she is, being reminded that there is an abundance of people who love her the same way I do. I'm not quite sure how to put into words how wonderful it feels to be here, how much pure joy this place brings me. It's a good thing I have a long plane ride home to try to find some words to describe this trip other than "awesome".

I'm not ready to go back to Texas. In the same way that I wasn't ready for Jada to die, for my dad to walk out, for my skull to be broken. I'm not ready, but I'm going anyway. Good thing, too. Because I've been missing out on all of this:

And texts from Kenyan saying "I fell off a scooter and my foot bent backwards instead of forwards", "Rainbow unicorn zombie, EAT YOUR BRAINZ", and "I saw a person dressed as a termite today". Clearly I've been missing out on a lot.

One day left to soak it all in.
Literally and figuratively.

[Title from Alligator Sky by Owl City]


  1. Elizabeth Schwab GaertnerSeptember 24, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    You always make me cry, and laugh, and rejoice over you being who you are: a precious beloved daughter of Heavenly Father.

    So sorry I have not had the chance to see you... and to hug you... and to tell you how much I love and admire you, Bridian.

  2. Have a good flight back to Texas. Be on the lookout for boxes. Hope they share with you this time. Now that your name has changed, me reading your blog on the bowl won't quite be the same. Give your family all my love. Great seeing you. D.

  3. Forward Kenyans texts to me from time to time...I think it'd be good for a smile. :) Florida wishes it could soak you up more, Bridian!