Monday, October 17, 2011

out of fight

I’m done blogging.

 

Because I’m depressed. And my writing sucks when I’m depressed.

Because I’m not happy and I don’t want to write like I am. Don’t get me wrong—all the happiness you see here isn’t a lie. It’s fo realz. But I’ve learned lately that I don’t have to be happy. I don’t have to handle all these sucky things with grace and dignity and stuff. I’m allowed to be upset and sad and miserable. And I completely intend to be. For a little bit.

Because mostly I just want to write paragraphs that mostly consist of swear words.

Because everything sucks.

And on days when I feel happy, I’ll be happy.

Also I feel like no one reads this. Which is fine. But I feel lonely sometimes, and this only adds to it. And I might as well keep it it all to myself. I’m just gonna go be a lonely sad person on my own. I’ll come back when I’m happy. Which will probably be November 22nd when Alyssa gets home.

Or maybe tomorrow. We shall see.

In the meantime, if you’re not my FB friend, here are some of the Halloween party pictures.

[Title from Sing For Me by Yellowcard]

Saturday, October 15, 2011

you’re my chemical

This week has taken forever to be over. I spent a large majority of the past few days talking to insurance adjustors and giving statements and  case numbers and doing things that should be reserved for a real grownup—not me. The good news is that our car was deemed a complete loss and the insurance company gave us a fat check for it. The better news is that the check was about $4,000 more than we thought it would be. Holla! Also there have been a few random occasions where I have slight panic attacks being in cars. It’s pretty weird. Not uncalled for, but still weird.

And now it’s time for another episode of people here are wonderful. We had a repeat of the night of green beans. Except this time it was pumpkins. Hellooooo fall.

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Some of these have already been cut up, cooked, and turned into pumpkin pies. We don’t waste any time.

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Part two: we walked outside one evening to find decorative pumpkins on our doorstep, accompanied by the most adorable towel that was clearly crafted by hand (well technically I guess it was a sewing machine, but you get the point).

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People here are unreal.

In other news, I’ve been getting my Halloween costume ready, since it’s debuting tomorrow at Kenyan’s Halloween party. It necessitated the purchasing of red lipstick. Ummmm I think I must have missed this lesson growing up. How do girls know which color to buy? Are they just innately born knowing which one to get? There are hundreds of brands and shades and types. It’s all very confusing. I mostly closed my eyes and grabbed one at random. We’ll see how well it lasts.

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We have more friends coming into town tonight, so it promises to be an exciting and adventure filled few days. Happy weekend!

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[Title from Dance Dance Christina Paffgen by Anberlin]

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

this magic

Something is wrong. It is October 11th and I live in Texas and it is fifty-two degrees outside. Being morally opposed to long sleeves and footwear in general, I feel like this isn’t going to work out too well.

Luckily Aria’s already got some boots to cope with the cold.

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Now I promise that when I talk about the weather I’m not just making idle conversation. The weather is sometimes worth talking about. Like the skies—the skies here are fascinating. They are never the same.

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It’s weird, the way it rotates through cold days, hot days, dust storms, and slight drizzles of rain. It’s a strange kind of beautiful.

This weekend was quite fantastic {aside from the intoxicated college student battering my car. but really, I’m over it}. Some of my favorite people flew in for the weekend. Really convenient timing, since—evidently—we needed friends.

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I love it when these jet setters decide to grace this little town with their presence. I try to have tons of good food ready. Everyone else gets the ‘good company’ part ready. I think we did a pretty killer job of both this weekend, though I may be a little biased.IMG-20111008-01155

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On one of the runs to the airport we found a cotton field. Naturally, we did what all normal people born and raised in the city would do: we stopped and picked cotton.IMG-20111008-01183

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Yes, I realize that this may have been illegal, and yes we only thought of that when we saw a minivan driving down the dirt road and started panicking. So we stopped. But we found lots of good use for the cotton we’d already collected.

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Our friends helped us start decorating for Halloween—something that really seemed unnecessary and premature to me until I stepped outside and sprinted back in, blowing on my hands and running around trying to warm up. It’s that cold.

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I used the dip in temperature as an excuse to start baking again. I shuffled around the kitchen in my weird little cooking rhythm and kept warm by the heat of the stove.

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Okay, fine, all I did was make pumpkin pie cupcakes and candy corn cupcakes and regular cupcakes and a huge batch of cream cheese frosting. But it kept me busy and warm. Win win. Plus people fought for my food. Which is how you know you’re a good cook.

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Somewhere in all the madness we managed to throw together a Halloween care package for Alyssa {who loves candy corn}. We have officially started a countdown—she gets home from her mission in just a few weeks!

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Sunday night we had game night. If you’re unfamiliar with game night {first of all, you are missing out}, it involves a bunch of hyper teenagers playing energetic, involved games while the adults hide in the kitchen making piles of waffles and intermittently telling children to please-don’t-break-that. It’s one of my favorite traditions.

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Also I took the liberty of making even more cupcakes. I don’t know why that was the theme this weekend, but it was.

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This morning was beautiful—it was warm and sunny with an icy breeze to offset the heat. The kids were out of school for Columbus Day and they each had a million friends over. We took advantage of the ability to be outside without suffering from heatstroke by taking my chalk to the driveway.

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It was one of the best ideas I’d ever had. It turned out exactly the way I’d pictured it in my head—everyone laughing and smiling and tossing the brightly colored pieces of chalk back and forth, outlining each other and exploring the limits of their creativity.IMG-20111010-01281

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It was all sunshine-y and happy and—true to form—I had my speakers outside, flooding the neighborhood with my most upbeat playlist. My favorite part of the day was when one little girl appraised my self portrait:IMG-20111010-01298

Her analysis was “it’s weird and colorful. Just like your personality”. Ultimate compliment.

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The morning ended with chalk on our hands and our clothes and all over the tires of our borrowed car.IMG-20111010-01322IMG-20111010-01324

Success.

Despite the stupid car accident, the weekend was an overwhelming success. I love these guys. I hope they come back soon.

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Until they do I’ll just stay occupied trying to keep my feet warm.

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[Title from Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift]