a thousand endings

Oh hey guys.

Let’s start with number one. You are all awesome. Every time someone new tells me they read the stuff I write it just makes my little heart all happy. Because blog readers are cool. And I LOVE cool stuff. That being said, I’m sorry for my absence. I’m a little bit embarrassed that it’s the 18th of January and this is the first post of 2012. Whoops. I just had to figure out how I was going to handle getting thrown into an entirely different life…again.

Which leads me to number two. Usually the best way for me to write about my life is to take a step back and look at it from another perspective—objectively, even. Well, objectively, it’s completely not a life I thought I’d ever be living. I live in probably the most opposite place from Florida. No more baking in the sun and then diving into a perfectly chlorinated pool feeling sweet relief that water brings. Nope. Now it’s put-on-every-layer-possible-and-shiver-while-walking-from-your-house-to-your-car. Though I have to say, I have a completely new understanding of cold. . It is so cold here that I can see my breath when I’m walking to my 12:30 class. That’s right kids, even when the sun is directly overhead, it is still so cold that you look like you’re smoking when really all you’re doing is trying to stay alive. I understand now why people wear shoes—and that moccasins don’t actually count because they don’t keep your feet warm. I understand why people use lotion (dry air=lizard hands) and heavy coats (“painfully cold” is no longer an exaggeration) and hair dryers (hello, icicle head). These were all foreign concepts but I GET IT NOW. I’ve slipped on ice three times, gone ice skating twice, and fallen down the side of a snow covered mountain once. Oh glorious winter. If nothing else, it’s highly conducive to studying. Just what I always wanted. askates feetanarnia lamp snow

I hate adjusting. Hate hate hate it. That’s not to say that I don’t like change. I love change. I love new, exciting things. I love anticipation and hope and how my mind can run wild constructing all possible outcomes of whatever situation I’m about to encounter. But my affinity towards new situations only lends itself to instances where I get to go home at the end of the day and sit in my comfortable, familiar surroundings and revel in the new things I saw. By my calculations, it’s about time for me to go home and reflect on the last few weeks.

Seriously though, my life isn’t bad. It’s not the most exciting it’s ever been (though I’m starting to think exciting is a little too extreme in my family), but it’s pleasantly simple. I go to sleep when I should. I have actually started studying (who knew that was what you’re supposed to do in college!). I’m trying to adjust to new types of beauty—buildings backed up to mountains, mountains backed up to a deeply overcast sky, churches and temples on every corner, girls with strange, strange ideas of what is a good hairstyle—it’s all strange to me. But I’m adjusting. And in the ultimate proof that there must be a God, I have absolutely wonderful roommates. They don’t bother me. They’re selfless and caring and empathetic. They clean up after themselves. They’re pleasant and nice and I could live with them forever.

And finally, speaking of wonderful people, there are new ones in my life. I thought maybe it would be done being my turn to be the recipient of so much assistance, so much generosity and so much love. Wrong. My kitchen and my heart are both full thanks to the selflessness of so many people out here. Once again, I’m humbled to receive so much help, offered willingly and without solicitation. I’d probably be having a harder time with it had someone wise not taught me something: what makes people good people is receiving help graciously and letting the generosity motivate you to do good for others, to pay it forward in a sense. To which my first thought was ‘dang. I’m gonna be paying it forward for the rest of my life’. And my second thought was that I am totally fine with that :)

ahaynies sunset

[Title from Cinema by Benny Benassi ft. Gary Go {Skrillex Remix}]


  1. I used to have these boots that would cake snow on the bottom and then it would turn to ice (seriously they were like the most retarded boots) and I was carrying a fondue pot (thankfully empty) and slipped on my kitchen floor and went flying, bruised my hip and broke my BRAND NEW fondue pot. Its 4 years later and I still have not gotten a new fondue pot and I will forever blame those boots and the stupid snow.

  2. Elizabeth Schwab GaertnerJanuary 18, 2012 at 2:23 PM

    Loved hearing from you again, Bridian. Just what I needed to have that warm feeling in my heart today. Thank you for cheering me up. Love you TONS.

    PS.: Send me your address for some snail mail.

  3. Great hearing from you again, Bridian. Hope you have a good year.

  4. i recognize the location of that last picture:) Miss you Brid. Cant wait to see you this summer.

  5. You are a great writer! Me and my family misses you! glad to hear everything is going great.