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no further exemption

this past weekend my mom & rick went down to central texas to go sailing. i'm pretty sure my mom wore big pearl earrings and long white gloves, because i can't imagine anything more stereo-typically, white-people rich. [speaking purely out of jealousy here!]

i got to play mom for the weekend. to be honest, i'm not sure why i'm still trusted with this position. the last time she left me in charge i even blogged about what a horrible caretaker i am. yet i was left in charge again.

i wasted no time with the child torture. an hour after they left for the airport i decided we needed to make a trip to the store for tissues and dayquil [it's gettin' cold around here]. i dragged everyone out of bed--8 am on a saturday--to prepare them for an adventure. i'm a firm believer that if i'm awake that early, everyone else should be too. 

we loaded up in my mom's four runner, rolled down the windows [including the sunroof and the back windshield...i'm telling you. they're fancy], pressed the party mode, and headed to the store. 

we cleaned out the tissue section. i made them put boxes back if they had purple on them, or had any sort of design that i found offensive. tissue boxes were tossed back and forth. addie ended up with all of them.

please note that neither one of them are wearing shoes.

we raided the medicine section and then left before getting kicked out. we jumped in the car locking aria out, who opted to climb in through the sunroof. 

it's a rule that when i'm driving, you don't insult the music if you want to stay in the car. addie was feeling adventurous, so she made some harsh remarks. i slammed on the brakes and tossed her out of the car. and then the hooligans in the backseat tossed out some sandals, boxes of tissue, and a pillow. 

and adelaide ran home.


the rest of the weekend followed the same general pattern; chaos, mayhem, music, laughter, and mild productivity. i was left completely exhausted by the time the lovebirds returned. i'm not sure it was the loving, nurturing weekend they'd expected, but everything i know about parenting i learned from my mother.


[title from goodbye says it all by blackhawk]

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